What a curious thing it must be to write for the New York Times. Your employer has cultivated an educated audience that knows less about what is really happening in America than does the average Joe, and your mandate is to keep that audience ignorant. The recent chaos in Miami Beach presented an opportunity to do just that. If the three reporters assigned to the story — “Miami Beach, Overwhelmed by Spring Break, Extends Emergency Curfew” — had spent just an hour on Google, they would know what Joe knows. To get this story past their woke editors, however, they apparently had to pretend that Joe doesn’t know what he knows.
Joe, for starters, knows that this is not the spring break Connie Francis sang about. In fact, it is not a spring break at all. Traditionally, a spring break has actually been a “break” in the middle of a student’s semester that lasts about a week, maybe two. What’s going on in Miami has lasted about six weeks and counting. If he follows local TV news, Joe knows, as one Miami station timidly acknowledged, “Miami Beach chaos isn’t all college spring breakers.” As one person wryly noted in the station’s comment section, “Wow … you just now figured out that these are not Spring Breakers? I was starting to think it was some kind of code word.”
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