A new leaf


Intellectual Fraud

Intelligent Design

Mega Fix

Ron Brown

Popes & Bankers

TWA Flight 800







A friend told me that he truly knew there was a God when he awoke one morning to discover that Jesse Jackson had fathered a love child.

Well, for me, my own moment of epiphany came just the other morning when I awoke to learn that actress Anne Heche had gotten married and was now pregnant, not necessarily in that order, but I don’t even care about the order.

For those of you who may not know, Ann Heche is—or rather was—the world’s second most famous lesbian, at least the world’s second most famous “out” lesbian, there perhaps being a few in the Democratic party along these lines who are more politic than proud about their persuasion. The most famous lesbian, of course, was Anne’s pseudo “wife”, Ellen DeGeneris.

I take particular glee in the revelation of Anne’s exchange of a wife for a husband for a reason. A few years back, when I was doing daily radio, we did a segment on Anne’s gal pal. DeGeneris had just elected to come out of the closet on her own prime time TV show no less, and we talked about it on the air. In the course of the segment, we interviewed some local human rights type who took issue with me on one specific point—namely that homosexuality can be a matter of choice.

As I argued, I have known more than a few women who changed sexual orientation like they did shoes. My guest was predictably appalled by this suggestion and could barely respond, never having been in a discussion with someone who disagreed with her before. She claimed that homosexuality was as hard and fast as skin color—Michael Jackson excepted—or gender—Michael Jackson again excepted. And as to me, I had to be, yes, what else, a homophobe.

Unbeknownst to me, the Kansas City Pitch was taping the show and wrote a prominent story about it, headlined—hang on for this one—Jack Cashill: Homophobe. That was it. Big bold letters, prominently displayed. Jack Cashill: Homophobe.

Worse, this headline popped up first on all the Internet seach engines. I had more than a few friends call me and ask, “Is this Jack Cashill, homophobe?”

And so I seemed to be until Anne Heche came along and rescued me. Truth be told, given my own gender radar, I never thought she was a lesbian in the first place. So forgive me if I gloat a little.

Says Anne now, “I’m here, grounded and finally sane. I’m at the beginning of my life now.”

To me this beats Jesse Jackson’s love child any day. The only thing better might be if Hillary Clinton herself comes out and announces that she, yes, has finally decided to become . . . a Republican.



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